The playlist speaks

I have FINALLY finished my part of the super dreaded law assignment, and I thought I would give a little tribute to some of the more uhm, significant songs that have been keeping me company and messing with my head yet speaking for me for the past one month.

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Picture perfect memories, scattered all across the floor. Reaching for the phone coz I can’t fight it anymore. And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time.

A few hours left till the sun’s gonna rise. Tomorrow will come it’s time to realise, our love, is finished forever. How I wish to come with you, how I wish we make it through. Just one last dance, before we say goodbye.

Never even thought to cry, when I heard you say goodbye, never said where you were going. There’s no laughter in the air, only silence everywhere, and so much left unspoken.

But if you wanna cry, cry on my shoulder. If you need someone, who cares for you.

At times I understand you, and I know how hard you’ve tried. I’ve watched while love commands you, and I’ve watched love pass you by. At times I think we’re drifters, still searching for a friend. A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again.

You deserve the chance at the kind of love, I’m not sure I’m worthy of. Losing you is painful to me. I don’t wanna let you down, I don’t wanna lead you on. I don’t wana hold you back from where you might belong. You would never ask me why, my heart is so disguised. I just can’t live a lie anymore. I would rather hurt myself than to ever make you cry. There’s nothing left to say, but goodbye.

Thank you for loving me. For being my eyes when I couldn’t see. For parting my lips when I couldn’t breathe. Thank you, for loving me.

Bila yang tertulis untukku, adalah yang terbaik untukmu, kan ku jadikan kau kenagan yang terindah dalam hidupku.

Coz everything reminds me of you, and it’s just gonna take a little gettin used to.

It’s hard to find forgiveness, when we just turn out the light. It’s hard to say you’re sorry, when you can’t tell wrong from right…. If you just talk to me baby, till we ain’t strangers anymore.

Mungkinkah esok, kita kan bertemu kembali? Masihkah ada ruang di dalam hatimu?

Just like all the seasons never stay the same, all around me I can feel the change. I will break these chains that bind me. Happiness will find me. Leave the past behind me. Today my life begins. A whole new world is waiting. It’s mine for the taking, I know I can make it, today my life begins.

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Life’s too short to have regrets. Bruno Mars said so.

THEREFORE…….

Go to Ikea with good friends. Eat meatballs. And annoy the hell out of the kind uncle who agreed to share the table with you with your noise.

 

Then go to Marche, eat again. Drink ginger beer, because Hoegarden was too expensive to try. But owh well, because curiosity was a little too pricey that night =P

Then get super full that you have to walk around to digest the food. Camwhore with Christmas tree ornaments despite New Year having passed. Because the trees are still there, and simply because you can.

Then go to Baskin Robins and order something sour (because you’re still full). Don’t resist, because ice cream makes you happy.

Then be a guinea pig (and a good sport) and let your friends braid your hair into two pigtails outside Baskin Robbins, in the middle of the walkway. Take a picture. Because you won’t get to do that anymore when you’re like… 35. Or your kids would be embarrassed =)

It’s a brand new year

Hello again, world.

Starting today, I will be writing ‘2011’ instead of the old ‘2010’ on my tutorials, lecture notes, reminders, and etc. So it’s a brand new year again. It feels like 2010 had passed by in a blink of an eye, just like that.

A lot of people start the year by making resolutions - things they want to achieve, things they want to do, the type of person they want to be. 5 to 10 years back, that was exactly what I would do. Spend time having a long soothing shower while the clock strikes 12, then coming out feeling all new, and summing up the significant things that had taken place in the previous year. I would also include resolutions. One of them always had something to do with wanting to be 50kg; yeah, that one was always there, year after year after year. Lol.

Anyway, at this not so ripe age of twenty-two, I figured, why bother with the resolutions. It does not take a new year to start wanting change for whatever you think ought to be changed. Change should happen when it needs to. So i feel, why bother with resolutions,  since a new year is definitely not enough motivation to me to change anything.

Instead, I feel that this is the time to look back at how the previous year has been like. The happy moments, unhappy moments, moments filled with hardship, achievements, tears, mistakes, and most importantly, lessons learnt from every single moment.

I gave it a quick thought, and these are what I remember of my 2010 years – the more significant events I guess. Here goes:

Counted down for 2010 in Senso, Hilton. Jumped around to YMCA with the BF and friends.

Moved to a new place.

Went through a lot of emotional stress buying furniture, picking paint colours, choosing tiles.

Lived in denial and tried my very best to avoid packing.

My parents forgot my birthday, I was freakin disappointed.

Studied my ass off for the final semester of the second year in Suiee’s house, and practically moved there for that 1 week plus, and grew fat, because food was never short, thanks to Zihan’s frequent tapau-ing.

Friends came over to Kuching during semester break and I had a lot of fun.

Met Atsushi. Had the most outdoor activities i have ever had during sem break, thanks to Atsushi. Kayaking, mountain climbling, jungle trekking, waterfall dips, kuaci-eating, and etc. That was the best sem break ever.

Got dolled up for the BF’s cousin’s wedding, had make up done by someone else for the very first time (boy ,was I pretteh) but got a bit pissed that the BF left me quite alone at the table all night while he downed a lot of wine and got drunk. Owh well, his loss.

Became a nervous wreck after bringing Bullet home from the vet’s after having her neutered because she kept vomitting.

Owh and THIS is an accomplishment – I managed to bring Hero to the new house. Well of course, i had to depend on measures like using leftover chloroform from Form 6’s biology class.

Got my heart broken. Had the best sem break ever, but came back to Cyberjaya to see things I did not want to see. Facebook is evil and I hate Senso. And Chilax. *cringe*

Got the worst results I have ever gotten in Uni. Cried buckets of tears, regretted.

Took part in organizing uni events. Saw things in different dimensions. Met new, interesting corporate and non-corporate people.

Bought an impromptu ticket home for Deepavali. Got freakin happy because count up count down and realised there was almost a week of no classes.

Made a chocolate Fudge cake for Ky’s bday and baked awesome oatmeal cookies.

Went to Singapore for midterm break. Visited Universal Studios and Marina Sands Bay. Rode on the flyer. Took heaps of pictures, spent a lot of money. Discovered a new found interest in Roulette. Was freakin happy. Came back and had a first 3 couple outing with Suiee and ST at Sunway Lagoon.

Got my heart broken, again. Felt really smart, like a ‘tukang predict’ with awesome sixth sense. Realised how important my friends are. Learnt to love myself even more.

Made some new friends, lost some old ones.

And the last significant thing I did yesterday, was to jog four rounds around campus. Well not exactly four, but heck, i never thought i could, or would, do even one.

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As I stood out there watching fireworks waiting to count down to 2011, a thought crossed my mind: Will people also be counting down on the 20th Dec 2012, for the end of the world?I mean, just in case it really came, and they did not get to count down to 2013. Lol

I am starting to like the new me. Bring it on, 2011. Happy new year =)