05 July 2010

A sleepless night

Guilt, fear and frustration makes me wonder if i should just go on and be a housewife. After all, i enjoy cleaning the house and spending time in the kitchen. Seeing everything in order and walking on squeaky clean floors bring the utmost satisfaction. Cooking good food and successful baking gives me a sense of contentment that would make right a wrong day.

Yet, since the new trimester started, i hadn’t even had the time to cook a single proper meal here – too much playing and too many meetings. It’s a 180 degree turn from the life i used to know, where a lot of time was spent in my room. I enjoyed the solitude and solitude is a necessity as a little breakaway from the hectic outside world. But since i found out there is a possibility of finishing uni earlier, i am determined to play my heart out, try new things and attempt to ‘live my life’, before i have to set foot on the dreadful working world and grow up.

We are entering the fifth week, and i still go to every Corporate Accounting class blank and blur. Tasks and responsibilities are piling up, and my brain at this moment, decided that it wants to be super forgetful.

Back to being a housewife. Well wouldn’t it be so much simpler if i could grow up into one. it would have saved a lot of trouble answering questions like ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ because i never knew, and i still don’t know.

However, it is a forbidden thought, because since young, mum has hammered again and again and again into my head that a woman must be able to stand on her own two feet because it is simply wrong to have to depend on someone just because you are a woman. Therefore, a woman has ought to have her own career, income, and be able to drive ;)

But somehow, i sometimes wonder if i’m on the wrong career path. I think i should have studied about setting up cleaning agencies or things to do with food =P


suiee said...

hey, dar-ling,
today when i'm goin to dinner with zh n zy, both of them laugh at me, they said they tried part time job but i never. even jia jia, she also doin part time now. there's one job that suit me very well. "being a house cleaner" for sure i will get high pay. dar-ling, after we graduate, let's invest in some business since we can clean house well. :P or something bout food. since we both so tam chiak. :P
never worry bout our career path, when working we can always try something new also. after auditing > tax > commecial line > or chicken rice shop > >> we are pretty lady. job will always waiting for us to choose ! ^^

Lynda lau said...

tell them, you will start off business with them. charge them for every time u clean the house! lol