What do you do when the only thing that tells you to go on is your heart, when almost everybody else is telling you otherwise, at times, including your brain? I believe things happen repeatedly to a person for a reason – herself. But how do I figure out why I am constantly stuck in the in-betweens.
How young is young, how old is old. How successful is successful? How much is enough? How much before a person is good, reliable, right? How far can it stretch before it all should go down the drain? How obvious must it be for it to be true, for you to start being scared? How on earth do you choose?
Why so many what-ifs? Why so many meddling hands? Why is there no other choice? Why did they choose so easily? Why choose to be so inflexible and push so hard to get something that is obviously selfish and wrong from the start? Why all the pressure on me you are the ones making all the choices?
And it doesn’t help, that you have the worst lecturer you have ever met on the trimester where you decide to really live your uni life, ie: play, and her midterms come two days after the 10km run you are afraid you wouldn’t be able to finish.