27 January 2010

l o v e ?

Some say
that love is a roller coaster ride.
Some say
Love like a full moon,
shines through the darkest night.
They say
that love is blind.
They say
that love takes time.

I say that love
Should come hand in hand with trust.
For it tones down insecurities,
and calms the other from imagined lust.
I say that love
should be treated with patience.
Because two can never be one,
it appreciates and rejoices in difference.

Love was never that simple,
How could it be,
Emotions are difficult to handle.
They suffocated love with jealousy,
And shackled freedom to the ground.
Closed in a case with no sunshine,
The prettiest flower it wilts without a sound.

I think love
is a biased roller coaster.
The exciting drop
where you squeal in delight
lasts a split second.
While the climb up
Full of agitated expectations,
insecurities, fear and a moment’s regret
Takes forever.

Love is not free
For it comes with a set of rules.
It doesn’t die a natural death,
It dies because of fools.

Yet who am I,
to make claims about love
When I myself am still pondering
Of the way things happen,
and how they do not solve.

13 January 2010

Tres Leches Cake

I said that I wanted to take off to another world baking my Tres Leches cake. Well, I did not. I am a procrastinator after all. I only did it the next day.
Tres Leches was something I had been wanting to try weeks ago. Stumbled across Pioneer Woman’s blog while procrastinating and saw the recipe. It seemed simple and fail-proof, but I didn’t have a mixer then in Cyber so I put it on my in-Kuching-to-do-list .
In the end it did not turn out very fail-proof. It ended up somewhere between a pass and fail. I would say a GPA of 2.0-2.5? My dogs liked it, that counts, right? My mother refused to eat it, she said she had a gastricky feeling so she couldn't take any cake. I really don't see the connection between cake and the gastricky feeling. The bf said it was too sweet, in a “how can we afford to eat so many of your overly sweet things” kind of manner. Owh well, at least the dogs liked it.
This is the cake that came out of the oven.

It smelled great in there, and hopes were high. But it came out, and it aged real quick, as in it started shrink and became wrinkly. I was starting to smell a strong hint of baking powder too. I checked the picture on the recipe in panic, and to my relieve, Pioneer Woman’s was a little wrinkly too. I was on the right path after all. But that awful baking powder smell was still there. I don't like one bit of baking powder smell in my stuff.

This is how my beautiful, awesome smelling cake where i had high hopes of ended up 5 minutes later.

Can't cry over split milk, so i proceeded to poke and stab the cake to release my agony.

Flooded it with milk; evaporated, condensed and cream. Yes, that's a calculator back there. I'm so bad at math, (i suspect my Form6 math teacher expected me to fail STPM math) i need a calculator everytime i bake to get my ratios right.

There were two cakes because I could not find a baking tin big enough to hold all the batter. I one sibling must feel inferior because the other is much prettier. I feel a bit bad putting them through sibling rivalry. =P
This is the prettier one:

 And this is the uglier sister:

But in the end, owh well, lesson learnt. Reduce sugar, reduce baking powder, and reduce ratio of condensed milk to evaporated milk. I’m going to try this again someday, and make only half the size because I don’t want my dogs ending up diabetic since humans aren’t coming near my creation anytime soon. But i did like the fact that it was so overly sweet and a little soggy and melts in my mouth. I just didn't like the fact that it had a wee bit of baking powder smell. I can't stand baking powder smell -_-|||
PS: I’m starting to miss Cyberjaya and regret is creepin in for bookin that return ticket one week late.

07 January 2010

Blog's alive, but i am almost dead

I think I am cursed. Perhaps, by the dozens of mosquitoes I have been killing. Or the puppy I have been whacking, for pooping/peeing in the house, chewing on shoes and taking over the paper shredder role upon seeing newspapers.
I think I am cursed. Because again, and again, I have ‘gotten it’ for things that I was innocent as a I don’t know, 7 year old child when it comes to talking about sex?
First occasion, I was at the furniture shop shopping for bedroom furniture. Mom called, furious. She yelled, Angel (the puppy) escaped from the cage when no one was home and did it all, big and small in the bedroom. I came back immediately. Doors were banging, pails were slamming, and my angry mother was scrubbing the floor and yelling at me to get out of the way when I offered to do it. Tension was rocketing. The puppy did it, I got it.
Second. It was in the car. Dad wanted to search for some number in the hand phone. He was driving. He gave it to me. I tried to unlock the bloody device, but the screen remained blank. I asked him how, and he brawled at my stupidity for not knowing how to unlock a simple Nokia. After a few attempts, he snatched it from me, and tried himself, with the same outcome. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs “WHY YOU GO AND SWITCH OFF THE PHONE?!!!!!!!!!”. The stupid Nokia went haywire, I got it.
Third. This one, is the smelliest one of all the crap I got. A FRIEND (note: FRIEND!), on MSN, called me ‘Darling’. The bf saw it. Every bloody thing was so freakin coincidental, it was as if someone, somewhere plotted the whole freakin thing to get me screwed. It’s almost 24 hours, and I’m still getting the cold shoulder and baseless accusations stuffed down my throat. Awesome. I got it again.
Fourth. We were in the car. Dad was asking to check-in early for his flight the next day. Mom suggested he could do it online. Suddenly, he raised his voice, and accused us for being stuck up and show-offs because WE knew how to use the internet and ‘a little bit a little bit also internet here internet there’.  Like…. Wtf? And by the way, I was silent the whole time. See, mom spoke, I got it too.
I truly believe I am cursed. What the heck, is this going to go another round, being mom and the bf’s turn again afterwards? Heck, it is possible to get into trouble just by doing nothing.
Now excuse me, I am freakin hungry and all alone. I shall cook me Maggi Mee and take off to another world afterwards baking my Tres Leches cake.