The Girlfriend Manual

The definition of manual: a small book giving information or instructions.

Perhaps that is what life really lacks – a manual. And now, since I am a pathetic, almost friendless, lifeless female species whose life many people thinks revolves around her bf too much, I shall talk about the significance of a manual for girlfriends.

1. To tell you what to do around his friends

Despite having already been in a relationship for almost 6 years, there still are those moments when you do not know what to do or how to fit in among those friends of his, especially when your age gap is HUGE, like mine, and when you don’t know the friends very well, like when he makes new friends or meets old university friends that existed before you did.

i) Ciggies:

A manual will tell you what to do when all of them decide to talk a puff on the ciggy while you are a non smoker. The situation worsens, when there’s no place to sit down or food to stare at, ie: the smoke before getting into the car. And naturally, non-smokers are afraid of ciggy smoke, so standing next to the bf and getting smoke blown into your face ain’t very nice.

ii) When there is men guy talk.

When you’re cooped up in the same area with the buddies, say, a car, and they start going off about subjects like er…sex? Or say things that pretty much belittle women. Are you supposed to act really calm or show that you are annoyed or be a good sport and laugh? Because I somehow believe than men, in the presence of the female species should show a little respect. Imagine if we and our girls spoke of how to measure penis size in front of you. Not too comfy for you eh? But then again, you’re not supposed to shoot down the bf’s friends which you rarely know, are u? Yet, smiling away the awkwardness is kind of pathetic, but it’s manners, no?

I could go on debating with myself for hours… so moving on:

iii) When their friend’s gf’s existence is insignificant to them.

Your bf takes you along to meet the ‘friends’, and the moment they see him, he is dragged off to do ‘boy things’, and you’re pretty much left there not knowing what to do. Your insignificance is pretty much proven by how they do not bother to introduce themselves of include you in conversations. SO do you butt in? Do you initiate speaking? Or do you invite yourself and tag along. But if you do, what if they start talking while puffing? Refer to (i).

iv) What do you do around the friends’ gfs

Sometimes I don’t know which is worse; to be the only girl in a group of men guys and not have anyone to speak to, or when they bring their gfs along, and still have no one to speak to.

.

.

.

.

.

Maybe I don’t start socializing easily. Well I can’t expect everyone to be as chatty as Suiee and perhaps I SHOULD learn to be chatty. But I can’t help being a little intimidated by loud guys whose age are mine plus 6 which I barely know and speak a language I am not fluent in and add ‘sohai’ in almost every sentence.

At times, I would rather not tag along in situations like these, but the bf insists. Sitting there and not participating in conversations isn’t really my idea of a fun night out. But at times, the gfs tell themselves that it’s the time we spend with our guys that matters, and not their friends. Aren’t we just awesome?

Tomorrow morning, I shall be dragged to a wedding where the bf becomes the ‘brother’ to the groom. I insisted on staying back in the room, perhaps to study audit, but he refused to leave me home alone. I think the manual should also include what a gf of the ‘brother’ should do when he and all the other ‘brothers’ are busy getting the bride’s team to open the door for their groom.

A sleepless night

Guilt, fear and frustration makes me wonder if i should just go on and be a housewife. After all, i enjoy cleaning the house and spending time in the kitchen. Seeing everything in order and walking on squeaky clean floors bring the utmost satisfaction. Cooking good food and successful baking gives me a sense of contentment that would make right a wrong day.

Yet, since the new trimester started, i hadn’t even had the time to cook a single proper meal here – too much playing and too many meetings. It’s a 180 degree turn from the life i used to know, where a lot of time was spent in my room. I enjoyed the solitude and solitude is a necessity as a little breakaway from the hectic outside world. But since i found out there is a possibility of finishing uni earlier, i am determined to play my heart out, try new things and attempt to ‘live my life’, before i have to set foot on the dreadful working world and grow up.

We are entering the fifth week, and i still go to every Corporate Accounting class blank and blur. Tasks and responsibilities are piling up, and my brain at this moment, decided that it wants to be super forgetful.

Back to being a housewife. Well wouldn’t it be so much simpler if i could grow up into one. it would have saved a lot of trouble answering questions like ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ because i never knew, and i still don’t know.

However, it is a forbidden thought, because since young, mum has hammered again and again and again into my head that a woman must be able to stand on her own two feet because it is simply wrong to have to depend on someone just because you are a woman. Therefore, a woman has ought to have her own career, income, and be able to drive ;)

But somehow, i sometimes wonder if i’m on the wrong career path. I think i should have studied about setting up cleaning agencies or things to do with food =P

So Najib has a new kitten

I don’t read the papers. I’m not interested in politics. I knew because dad called, and joked that someone named his kitten ‘Rosmah”. The prime minister was looking for suggestions from the readers of his blog on what to name his kitten, and many typical ass kissers said “1 M”.

It was pretty obvious to me that he was trying to imitate the US president by having a presidential pet. Perhaps I am a skeptic, but I just didn’t think that the heart was there. As usual, it was a call for votes.

I think he screwed up. buying a kitten was so wrong, and wrong not because he wanted to ‘act’, but wrong because he failed to set an example to Malaysians. He mentioned that BUYING the kitten was a spur of the moment decision – it implies that he never even intended to keep a pet. Either that, or it was about an article a found from an animal rights blog written a few months back saying that Najib does not care for animals and they are of the least interest to him, because animals can’t vote.

I somehow believe that it was not a spur of the moment purchase, but more of a planned political propaganda gone wrong.  Well I believe I know where he went wrong.

He should have just adopted a kitten from a shelter instead of buying it. This is what all animal rights activists would say. They believe in helping the animals that are already in need, and adopting them at a small fee that would benefit the shelter and enable them to help even more animals. It is about giving them a second chance, and him, of all people, should have set an example. I can just imagine all the kiss ass people who would follow his trail and adopt a pet from a shelter if only he set the right path. But I guess he didn’t have enough passion to think that far. Simply picking up a cat this way won’t do, Mr. PM.

I think that many people pick up pets from pet shops or breeders because that is where pedigrees come from. I think most Malaysians carry this materialistic attitude where they put a price tag to everything, even pets. If my local breed dog happened to give birth to 8 mongrel puppies, I believe I would have a hard time giving them  away, because to people, they are dogs that are well, not very beautiful and not worth a lot of money. They see having to feed and care for the dogs a chore. However, if I were to have 8 pedigrees, and I called people up saying I wanted to give them away, I’m sure those who never really wanted a dog would quickly take all my pedigree pups, because, sad to say, they ARE more beautiful, and they have a price tag that is of at least RM500 on them. In short, it makes their owners look good – better than having a mongrel. Which is why, I feel that Najib has failed to take the chance that could help change people’s mindsets about pets. People fail to see that a pet isn’t a deco in the house to make you or the house look better, but to love and be loved by in return.