How to ask a guy out

I noticed that my mind is more prone to thinking ridiculous thoughts when I am hungry. Tonight, I thought of ways timid, nice, homely girls who have hardly any friends *ahem* could ask guys out without being too outright and saving themselves the embarrassment of a rejection. If the nice, homely girl is VERY timid, using the many messaging medias such as SMSing, Facebook (not outright on the walls, please, or MSN (but risk having your messages undelivered and causing heaps of anxiety because MSN is crappy lately) would be more preferable. At least the screens do not know you are blushing!

#1. “I’m home alone and there’s nothing to eat. I’m totally craving for Ma Lak Mien at Life Café now. But I don’t like eating alone (must show sad face to gain sympathy). Sighhhhhhhhh. But then again, screw awkwardness. I think I’ll head there before I starve to death. Eh, how bout u join me? My treat!”

#2. “Hey I painted my toenails this absolutely awesome red shade (because I was hungry and had nothing better to do at home). It’s realllllllllly pretty. Wanna see?”

#3. “Guess what? Today I baked chocolate lava cake (note: there must be research beforehand about what ‘guy’ likes to eat. If ‘guy’ does not like chocolate lava cake, substitute with something else). Mom actually said it was good but two people can only eat that much. Do you like chocolate lava cake? If you do, help me eat some?” (then, proceed to meet ‘guy’ somewhere to deliver)

#4. “Have you watched Donnie Yen’s (I think most guys would like Donnie Yen?) new movie? Trailer looks awesome!!! I wanted to go catch the late night slot but I heard that The Spring (this is a mall where MBO is situated, feel free to substitute with any local mall) is haunted so I daren’t go late nights. I would’ve gone alone if I was less busy during the day”. (show sad face)

#5. “Owh, you work in that area? I heard there’s this place selling really good chicken rice nearby. Do you know how to get there?” ….. “Huh? I’ve no idea where that is, maybe you could show me sometime soon during your lunch breaks?”  

*if ‘guy’ tells you he packs lunch to work every day, say “Awwwww u poor thing, even more the reason you should go eat that awesome chicken rice and when you decide to, please show me the directions there”.

#6. Lastly, the most obvious of all – write this on your blog, and tell him you want to do any of the above, and send him the link. This is why iPhones (or any phones with the ability to go online on the move) are awesome, ‘guy’ can immediately check.

PS: I just realized that more than half of my methods (#6 doesn’t count) involve food. FML