The day has been super non-productive. Nothing on the to-do list has been crossed out. Clothes that were supposed to be folded nicely and put back into the wardrobe are still strewn over the bed. No research that is supposed to be done has been done. And no amount revision that was to be done has been done.
But today, I did learn one thing; In life we are constantly telling ourselves to do good. To be good human beings, to treat others the way we would like to be treated, to not harm or hurt unnecessarily.
However, sometimes, the one thing needed to screw everything up is a bad memory. A bad memory leads to wrong decisions and wrong decisions lead to agony, on all sides.
Sometimes being mean is unavoidable, and the fact that it was not intentional does not make the damage any less. People always revert to the saying, “it’s the thought that counts,” but really, in this situation I think thoughts don’t matter at all.
Today, was unproductive in terms of my to-do list. However, it has thought me that when either roads lead to damage, it’s okay to bang your head on the wall over what you have done, and later count on ethics to path your way. It has also taught me to toughen up in order to do what is less wrong.“I am sorry” is not protocol. It is the child of conscience and the heart.
I am starting believe that it is not them, it is me. problems like these are forever creeping up on me because I let them. Attitude needs to change, memory needs to improve.
Off to bed with a lesson learnt, tomorrow will be a better day.